Farmington High School<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
• The high school will close and the property sold. The land will be zoned commercial and no cap will be placed on building height. A casino would be nice. The displaced students will be given vouchers to attend any school they can get into. Those 9th and 10th grade students who are not accepted will spend school hours eradicating invasive plant species from within Town borders (especially Japanese Knotweed and Oriental Bittersweet). Uninvited freeloaders are not welcome. 11th and 12th graders who are not accepted to outside schools will have to find employment (see casino option).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  Police and Fire Departments<\/strong><\/p>\n

  \n
  • The police department will be disbanded. The Town has enough gun owners who can settle disputes. If they wish to form a volunteer militia, they may do so, but they will be responsible for their own equipment and uniforms, which must be a male romper in warm weather.
    \nThe fire departments will remain. However, a use fee will be charged to homeowners who still cannot understand something that Homo erectus<\/em> figured out a million years ago.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    Sewers<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
    • An output meter is to be placed on each dwelling to quantify the amount of crap they send to the treatment plant. No one wants to pay for anyone else\u2019s crap.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      Garbage<\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
      • All garbage shall be disposed of on the homeowner\u2019s property. This will encourage the use of more eco-friendly packaging and products as each citizen will be forced to live in their own garbage.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        Road and Sidewalk Fees<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n
        • A GPS tracking device will be placed on each vehicle. Fees will be charged based on the mileage put on roads with the Town borders. Higher fees will be charged for crossing bridges. Sidewalk fees will be likewise based on usage and will be paid to the homeowner who is responsible for the maintenance of said sidewalk.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

          Fall leaf-pickup<\/strong><\/p>\n

          \n
          • Leaves will be required to stay on the property upon which they were grown.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

             <\/p>\n

            Taking steps such as these will ensure that no one has to pay for anything for which they have no need. Citizens who rely on lawn signs as their sole source of local news can gamble their stockpiled tax dollars at Foxwoods Farmington.<\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            The time has come to open the Town Charter. It has been over 50 years since it was amended last. The world has changed and it\u2019s time we changed with it. The referendum vote of June 15, 2017 made clear that the citizens of Farmington […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":139,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n