FARMINGTON MIRROR DECISION DESK – After careful examination of exit polls, absentee polls, and statistical estimates in the Connecticut Gubernatorial Race, Farmington voters overwhelmingly supported a wealthy, old, white guy to lead the state. The Decision Desk also examined obscure Reddit threads and Instagram pages set up for people’s pets. Dogs weighing less than 15 lbs were eliminated as they kept “yipping”. Farmington is known for producing the 4th Governor of Connecticut, John Treadwell, who was also an old white guy.
Profile of Our Next Governor
Born before the current Connecticut Constitution was ratified and The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson debuted, our Governor-Elect is a white cis male who graduated from an Ivy League school and is older than 80-90 percent of the population in Connecticut. He is independently wealthy and assisted in funding his own campaign. He is likely to blame the Legislature for his inability to keep his campaign promises.